CONTENT
Should
Who is going to stop it
Enlisting co-operation
Using the word NO
Grandchildren
Who is responsible
Try, Why
If - Choice!

This is a special night as it is the first public meeting held for many years at West Auckland. As such Spirit was very excited, and as a consequence so was I. I had been encouraged by my people to dress up for the occasion as they indicated to me that it was by way of a celebration.

Roberta-Margaret says - I offered myself as a channel and then SONGEE came to speak...

Songee: About the 'THINKS', and the 'SHOULD'S.' But most importantly, 'THE SHOULD'S -

PLEASE... peoples of the earth teach youself teach other people TEACH THE CHILDREN, not to use the words of 'SHOULD AND SHOULDN'T'. Those of you, who are in professions of healing, and in the professions of teachings, do not use this very severe word.

Should

I am going to give you, the image, and I have given it many times before, imagine if you would please, that the word Should and Shouldn't are like HUGE CUDGELS!... Imagine, it is VERY BIG, VERY HEAVY, VERY HARD. Big stick! And when you say to somebody, You SHOULD do this. You are hitting them with this big stick. SHOULD IS A BIG STICK, when you use it, and you say to yourself I SHOULD have done that. You are hitting yourself on the head with a 'BIG STICK'. Indeed you may have seen peoples, go in this way, 'oh I SHOULD have done that', (demonstrates by hitting the forehead with the heel of the hand, in gesture of exasperation). How many times have you seen peoples doing this?

Mmm (by many.)

Songee: They are doing it, they have got their 'big stick' and they hitting themself on the head with it. How sensible is this?... You get the headache! Do it often enough, or it is done often enough to you, you get headache. You can get concussion, from too many blows to the head. It can make jigglings up inside the brain so that things don't work too well.

(A laughing comment made.

Songee: So, PLEASE... Look to yourself, and every time you find yourself about to use this word, BUTTON YOUR LIP. Put you tongue behind your teeth, and don't let it come out, and look at the 'child' in front of you, whether it is yourself or somebody else, and look at this 'child' that has been cudgeled with this word since a small child growing up. And then look at the parents, who also have been cudgeled with this word from being small children to growing up.

IT HAS TO STOP SOMEWHERE. SOMEONE HAS TO STOP IT!

If somebody is in your life, and they take a fist to your face, and they keep taking a fist to your face, and you don't move out of this situation, and the children grow up and learn that it is 'normal' to have fist to the face. They in turn will grow up and put fist to the face of others. Is this not so?

This is the same thing, only it is with words. Words are like rocks, that can be thrown at people, (very gently) they can be also like a - caress - ... That can sooth and calm and bring Peace and Love, and Harmony to people.

THIS IS WHAT YOU NEED TO LEARN.

To learn these words not the words of rocks, to learn the words of Peace, of Love, of Harmony, of Soothing, of Gentleness, Kindness, Healing, not the words of rocks.

So next time you find yourself about to use this word, imagine Who's going to stop this cycle of pain?

Who is going to stop it?

Are you going to say, I can't do it? It is too difficult. I'll leave it to somebody else? If you saw a child being beaten, and continually beaten, would you ignore that situation, or would you step in and say I'm very sorry, but you cannot continue beating this child in this way, look at the damage you are doing to the child. How brave are you? It is no different. Ponder on that.

And next time you go to the peoples of healing who have not this teaching, who have not this learning, who come to you, and say to you What you should be doing is 'this'. And what you should be doing is 'that', and this is how you should do it. Every time they use that word it is a blow. And they are undoing all the efforts that they are attempting to make, by using these words. Have you got any questions about this, this is very important, and many people have difficulty with the understanding, and the acceptance of this. So I am here, you want to have queries about it, ask me now. For when you go home it's too late.

The word Should, seems also to be a word of control!

Songee: That is a very interesting observation... Anybody else feel the same way? ...

Its getting people to do what YOU feel, ought to be done, You should be doing it because that's the way You are!

I look on it as manipulation actually.

Songee: Now that is an interesting word, MANIPULATION.

So you want me to look it up too?

(General laughter)

Songee: What else can you do besides manipulation, everybody does it, everybody to some degree or another in your life, you use your skills to manipulate other peoples. What is it you are attempting to do?

Get them to move in certain direction.

Songee: And what do YOU want them to move in a certain direction. So what do you want them to move in that direction for?

Because you feel that your opinions right, so its control again. (ironic laughter)

Songee: However. Supposing you are in the situation, where you are teaching or you are in a Healing situation, where you are being Channel for Healing. And somebody has come to you for advice, for counsel, for Teach. So they are soliciting you for your advice, for your counsel. So you are discussing matters with them and you discover certain events that are taking place and you can see, a certain pattern taking place. And you can see a certain path that they might need to take, in order to move themselves out of this situation. So you attempt, to get them to see this path. So what is it you are wanting from them?

They need to choose?

Songee: I come to that word in a moment.

Recognition.

Songee: Recognition is important.

Wouldn't it be something like managing them? Guiding?

Songee: Something else, it's a very important, - Guiding this is so - however it is a very important little word.

Giving them some choice?

Songee: You want from them, you want something from...

Co-operation.

Songee: That is very right!

You want their CO-OPERATION.

By developing your trust.

Songee: How are you going to do that?

Being empathic, listening... showing unconditional love.

Songee: Now supposing that they don't have a lot of earth time, to sort through this difficulty, and they don't have earth time for trust relationship to develop. How do you...

Thanking you that is very interesting; I liking that (somebody from spirit must have spoken to Songee). I adopt another phrase, Cut to the chase. This is not wording of Songee; this is interesting, cut to the chase I liking this, very good.

So how do you do this? ... This is coming.

By understanding.

Songee: And how are you going to do that?

Reflect themselves back to themselves.

Enlisting co-operation

Songee: So, to put it in simple words, you are going to ENLIST their CO-OPERATION and how you do it, it is in this manner...

You say to them, "Well, I have listened to everything you have said to me so far, and you have told me this, and this, and this, and this. And what I am seeing is a pattern, and the pattern that I am perceiving is, this one !!" –and you say what it is.- And then you say to them, "Now there is a way through this pattern, that I can see, it like a maze and there is a path through it. And to me looking at it, it looks very clear, only for you it is not very clear. For me to show you this path I need your co-operation, are you willing to give it?" Is that not more simple?

Hmm very good.

Songee: Now you have the difficult child who does not want to obey, who does not want to follow the boundaries, that is going 'out of control'. That is doing all manner of bad things. That is doing all sorts of dreadful happenings to other peoples. What do you do about this child? Beat it over the head with more Thinks and Shoulds?

I was wondering about that.

Songee: You shouldn't do this. You should be this way, you should be that way. You should be coming in when you are told to come in. You should be doing this because when you don't you get sick. You get sore, you get lost, you get taken away. Many, many things with these shoulds. So you have all this beating about the head again. So it is better perhaps to take the child and say, "Now come with me, I want to sit. We need to talk. Now sit down." And take a deep breath and you hold it and let it out. When you take a deep breath, you take in the Breath of Life. You ask the help of Oneness and the help of the healing energies and you get ready for the words of speak to come out for this beautiful Child of the Universe, that at the moment looks like a little demon.

So you say to this child, "Now your behaviour has been less than exemplary and it is not very nice, not very pleasant to be with and it is making you very unpleasant to be around you. You as a person are a beautiful person. Such a beautiful person is doing such unbeautiful things. So would you like to explain to me so I can understand, because I don't understand". And you wait, the child will either tell you or sit there in mutinous silence. They sit there in mutinous silence you give them certain amount of earth time and you say, "Very well, you obviously don't want to speak just now that's alright, go about your business. Just understand your behaviour is not acceptable and will not be tolerated".

And you let them go and then the next time you bring them back again and you sit them down and you say "Are you ready to speak yet? Are you ready to tell? How are you a beautiful child like yourself is doing these dreadful things? What is it, what is happening inside of you? How is you are hurting? I cannot help you, I cannot show you the path out of your conundrum until you tell me. And I cannot do it without your co-operation".

So you can give them the co-operation word at the first time or you can give it the second or third time. All time gentle, all time firmness, gentleness. Give boundaries that are movable, you pull then in when the child is needing to have them pulled in and as they grow and expand so you move the boundaries out.

This is managing the child, managing the situation and helping the child also to learn that they do not have to be confined by these walls of should and shouldn't. And they do not have to feel that they are having to cope with this atrocious adults in their life. Who want to stifle them, all the time and put pillows over their faces so they cannot breathe and expand.

When child start this, from as little as four years of your earth life.They begin by wanting to expand and were you to put ridged controls around them, it will work for just so long and then when they get to the age where they go from being single number to double numbers in their age, something happens to them and the turn from being little angels into little demons. And they gradually get more powerful in their demonic exhibitions. However they are not really demons. They are still beautiful Children of the Universe. It is just that your perception of them changes, because of their behaviour. Unfortunately they begin to believe themselves to be demons also because the adults in their life continually are putting them with the shoulds and shouldn'ts. Hitting them over the head they believe that they must be needing this punishment somehow. So they must be awfully terrible peoples to deserve all this punishment and to have to put up with all these 'NOS'.

Using the Word NO

No is an important word. No is very, very necessary at the time however it needs to be used circumspectly. Only use the word NO when you are prepared to back it up. One hundred percent. When you say NO and then five of your earth minutes pass and you say, Alright you can go and do it. You are depowering yourself, you are negating yourself and then latter on when you are angry with the child for not doing what it is suppose to do, you kick the child because you depowered yourself. Not very kind is it? And all parents do this towards their children.

WHO IS GOING TO STOP IT?
WHEN IS IT GOING TO BE STOPPED?
HOW IS IT GOING TO BE STOPPED?
WHOSE RESPONSIBILITY IS IT TO STOP IT?

Grandchildren

It isn't mine, I don't have any children any more.

As I am Mother to all of you and to all living things on the planet. I am Mother of the Earth, I am Mother of the trees, the creatures, the plants, the rocks. And Mother of all the creatures, seen and unseen. And there are laws that govern the children's and I am responsible for all the children's and all the well beings of the children's. So it is time, NOW, FOR IT TO STOP! Now I am passing it on to you to ask yourself Where does it stop? Who stops it? You are the mothers and fathers of the children and the aunts and uncles of the children of your planet.

Who is Responsible?

The main responsibility lie with the birth parents, the parents who have adopted the child as their own. However the responsibility of teaching, of stopping the perpetuation of violence by word, by deed lies with all individual beings upon the planet. And you can only do this by teaching, by educating others around you and you can only do this when you have successfully educated yourself, first. So you practice not using 'should' on yourself and on others, peoples in your most immediate environment and it will blossom from there and go out and many peoples will benefit from it. You have here two children's, two children's who will learn these things. Who will learn these words and they will go on into their life as adult peoples and it is to be hoped and prayed that they will continue the teaching? Is this not so?

Try, Why

Have you finished playing with it? (Songee is talking to a student who is organizing the music.) It matters not it will sort itself out. It is very content little thing.

So have you got any questions? Would you like to write down some more words? There are other words for you to consider. There is the word of try, the words of why. Very simply whenever you say to somebody, especially the child Why did you do that? Usually the child will stand there and look at you with eyes wide and they will either say, I don't know. Or they will go, like this. (Songee shrugs Her shoulders.) Somebody says to you, Why did you do that? What do you have to do? Why won't you answer Songee? Why won't you answer Songee? I have asked you a question.

We don't like the demand.

Songee: So it requires of you that you supply an answer and it demands it, it demands that you justify yourself or your actions. It is threatening. When you want somebody's co-operation you do not threaten them. It is not sensible. As soon as you threaten somebody, they run and hide behind their brick wall with their coping on top. So don't threaten somebody when you want their co-operation. You have the naughty child, you want its co-operation, be sensible don't hit it on the head and don't threaten it. Ask for its co-operation. And this is true of any human being that you encounter upon your earth life. Not just children. When you are in the helping profession and you are suppose to be counselling people you don't threaten them and you don't hit them, around the head. Be gentle, be kind, be understanding. Boundaries yes, flexibility yes, try NO. You can't try anything. It doesn't work. Do you to give a demonstration Little Snake.

Demonstration?

Songee: Little Snake is very good at this.

OK When we try...

Songee: Make them get up and do it. Otherwise they won't get the point.

OK. The task is I want you to try and lift your leg. Put any amount of effort in to TRY and lift your leg. Is it happening? Is it going? Put some effort in. Can you see any movement.

Some of the students got the point that they weren't able to do it.

Songee: Listen to the words.

So in lifting your leg, just like doing it. See!

Songee: So. You don't say to people try and do this because you are giving them permission to not do it. You are giving them permission to put a lot of effort into something that they are not going to achieve. Or were they to achieve it they use a lot of energy to the achieving of it. You just say to them, Don't try, do it! Do you want to stand up, stand up. Do you want to sit down, sit down. You want to walk, you walk. Don't try to walk. It is different when you are talking about somebody who has got injury because they have to make an effort so you don't use the word to them. You say to them, "Now you are going to need to do this action, And in order to do this action, it is going to require of you some physical effort. Know it in your mind and feel it in your middle-side. And then DO IT! And keep practicing the doing of it, until you achieve it and you will achieve it."

This is better than saying try to do it. Someone is sick they have had a disconnection in the brain and their sides do not work. They do not move this side. You know this thing? And they cannot make connection to the brain and the speeches. And they are locked inside the head and they know exactly what they want to say. They know exactly how they are feeling and their processes of functioning of their brain are quite clear and precise and as they have always been. The difficulty lies in that the connection is broken and they cannot make it come out the way they would like. So they have to re-learn how to do it. New pathways have to be built in the brain and to do this it takes earth time because re-generation of the cells takes time. So you have to say to this person who understands exactly, perfectly what you are saying, "This is what is happening, this is how it is going to happen and you are going to be able to say what you are feeling inside only it is going to require of you some effort and you don't have to TRY to do anything. All you have to do, is DO IT. It doesn't matter if it doesn't come out right, do it anyway".

And you teach them how to move their fingers, like so. How to move the legs, once more. And in doing this teaching and practicing and you say, Its practice, practice, and I will help you and work with you, and we will practice it.And so then the person learns how to do this thing once more. They are not 'trying' to do them anymore, They are not trying, they are doing them. Do you feel the difference? Feel the difference inside of you, don't just know it in you head. Feel it in here. (Songee puts Her hands on the tummy.) And apply it to the situations in your own life. And these matters can be of benefit to you. All matters, even down to the most recalcitrant partner in life. You must watch your time.

So, there is not a lot of your earth time left for Songee to spend with you in this moment. So perhaps you would like to consider things and you might have questions. There's no good asking them when you get home I am not there to shout at you.

If - choice!

Songee could you go into using another word instead of if? Is there another word?

Songee: 'If' is a word that has a lot of implication. It is not one that you have to ban as such. Just use it circumspectly. Is a word of consideration, in so far as it gives you something to ponder on. A positive or a negative, or two positives. Ah, You are reminding me (Songee is talking to her helpers in spirit.) it is very important.

It is usually applied to the term of choice, there is no such things as choice. Choice is an illusion.You imagine you have choice in your life, you don't!! That has thrown a cat amongst the birds. So IF is a word of pondering. If is a word of non-substance, do you understand. You can say to yourself, "What if I do this?" and you can imagine for yourself... all manner of things, all manner of circumstances, all manner of ways of dealing with situations.

You can say, "What if I were to do this? What if I were to say that? What would happen if I did that? What would happen if THEY did this? What would happen if they, ... did that, how would I feel if they do this or that or some other thing". So you have all these ponderings do you not? And you have a lot of fun with it, and you give yourself, great big pains in your head quite often. Because you don't usually come up with a satisfactory answer to your 'IF'. So 'if' you do this, be prepared for a period of your earth time, where things will not be resolved.

There is an example. So I am giving you the 'IF', and I am giving you a positive, that goes with it.And it is a reality, it is A TRUTH, because this is ALWAYS what happens when you use the 'IF'. So be aware when you use the 'IF, and when you find yourself using it, you have then to decide, are you going to continue to attempt to live your life, with the 'IF'? Or are you going to put it to one side and start to LIVE YOUR LIFE?

If I live my life this way what will happen?...

When I live my life this way, such and such will happen!...

So it's questioning?

Songee: You are using it, to create a conundrum. Examine it, practice it, play with it, discover what it does to your life, and to your own reasoning and your own feelings, see what you come up with, write it down, what you come up with. Teach yourself, experiment, have fun with it, you will learn a lot, choice is an illusion. It is an illusion because you choose your life before you come, not after you come. Before you are born to the earth, you choose everything that is going to happen upon your life, this one that you are in now. Good things, the bad things, happy things, all those things.

Mad, Bad, Sad, and Glad,¹ you choose them.You set them all out, you arrange them nicely, you get born and you come and DO them. And at certain points of your life you are presented with certain conundrums, and you have to 'seemingly' decide am I going to take this path, or am I going to take this path.

Some peoples are very fortunate they imagine they've got more than two, and they imagine they have perhaps got four or five paths to take. And they have a wonderful time sitting, there, "If I do this one what is going to happen? If I do that one, what is going"... to have a lot of fun with it. By the time they finish, they come to something, they say, "I don't know what to do! I've got a headache, I cannot decide which I am going to do, I can do this, or I can do this, or I do this, or I can do... And I don't know what to do for the best".

What do you say to them?...

I've got news for you!

Songee: Stop !! Stop, stand still. Don't do it anymore. Wait. Be Patient. Observe. Be alert. Don't stand still and go to sleep, you don't stand still and ignore the situation, you stand still, and be alert, patient, and observe. And all those 'CHOICES', those seeming choices that are an illusion, that are the wrong path, will disappear, one by one. They will become unavailable, unobtainable, just not there anymore. Until there is only one path left, and they say, Oh my goodness there is only one path left. I'd better go down there. And you say Hurrah! And this is very true of all of you, when you get these conundrums of your life. Don't worry yourself into, the 'big hole in the ground'. Because when you do this sometimes someone has to come and pull you out.

In case you've broken your ladder?

Songee: So you don't make the falling down the big hole... You've got to climb out of it, it is better not to get in it in the first place. Much more sensible, go round it. Or stand on the edge and look and say, "I'm not going down there. You don't want to go down there. So I'm going to stand here and I am going to wait, and look, perhaps somebody to go come and put the plank across and then I can walk across it". So. In this manner you will find the answers to things. You can always ask Oneness, Oneness will show you the answer. Your peoples who are working with you in Spirit, there is many here, they will help you also. Yes I'm coming to that, I won't be a minute, I'll come to it - (somebody must have had something go through there mind or else Songee picked up on something that is not able to be heard on the tape?)

I'm being made aware that your earth time is very short...

Songee worked with someone after this talk, channelling healing to them, before She finally left with Her words of -
I leave you with the Power,
So Be It

Notes

1. Mad, Bad, Sad, and Glad - When we are working on discovering our feelings and could not understand how to manage them, Songee's Teaching was that we list them under these headings of Mad Bad Glad Sad and this would help us to deal with these feelings.
(This is another of Songee's Chestnuts.)
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